Stepping Out of the Spiritual Closet – Sharing the real me

November 11, 2019

On the weekend we had a lovely lunch with friends we’ve known for close to 30 years.

I met most of them when I was 21 and just started going out with my now Hubby. These people are like family to me, so it was an absolute joy to spend a few hours eating, drinking, laughing, reconnecting.

There was one friend at our lunch who I really wanted to speak with. We hadn’t seen each other for around ten years (or that was our guess!) and there had been a lot of change in both our lives over that time. 

I knew from the journey my friend had taken that they would understand part of my own. For at least two years I’ve known I wanted to share my story with my friend – not because our situations were the same but because, in my mind anyway, our journeys weren’t hugely dissimilar. My friend was further along on the journey than me and to hear the wisdom they shared was like a balm to my wounds.

It was actually really difficult to say out loud the words I needed to say to my friend.

Not because I haven’t said them before, to trusted friends or in my own mind.

And not because I felt my friend would judge me.

But because by voicing them I was acknowledging to someone outside of my inner circle a deep truth for me.

Why have I hidden this truth for so long?

Many years ago I was advised not to “hang out my psychic shingle”. I can’t remember the exact context of the conversation but those words stuck to me like glue.

I remember feeling shame at the time, and of course burying that shame down so far that it grew over time, becoming a pain I could no longer contain.

With hindsight I know those words came from a place of compassion and love, because the timing wasn’t right. I needed much more experience, knowledge, growth and trust in my inner wisdom before outing myself.

When I shared this comment with another professional a few years ago she said “Well your Guides think that’s funny – because what do you think people think of when you tell them you’re an Elemental Space Clearer?”.

We had a good laugh over that! It made complete sense to both of us, but we both work in the energetic, psychic space after all!

So why I have I been half in / half out of the psychic closet all these years?

Because I’ve seen the pain other people who walk my path have been through. By sharing their unique abilities with the world they’ve been ostracised, shamed, judged, made fun of. 

I had already shared my journey with a few people in my life who had done just that – shamed me, judged me, made fun of me. And given the depth of my sensitivities, their comments drove me further inward, adding more pain to the pile I already carried inside.

The reality though is that for way too long I’ve ostracised myself. Shamed myself. Judged myself. Made fun of myself. 

Do you really think someone external to me can ostracise, shame, judge or make fun of me any more than what I’ve already inflicted upon myself?

I don’t think so.

I’ve spent the last ten to twelve years breaking through boxes of all sorts. Most of this journey hasn’t been public and has been extremely painful. But when I look at those boxes many of them were of my own creation. I built them to ‘keep myself safe’ – from who? Well those people who would ostracise, shame, judge, make fun of me of course.

But it’s time I really opened this last box – to let the moths out; to clear the cobwebs; and say stuff it, this is me.

I don’t know what the ripple effect of these words are going to bring.

I have no idea how it will impact my business, my life, my relationships.

I have no idea the path that will rise up in front of me now I’ve opened the psychic box.

But like my friend over lunch on the weekend, I can no longer hide my truth. It’s who I am and it’s time I owned it.

Here’s to a new path, whatever that looks like. I’m here and I’m ready. Bring it on.

With much love,

Helen xx

Helen Joy Butler - Sanctuary Creator, Elemental Space Clearing® practitioner and #HSP Warrior

1 comment

  • Christine

    Helen, well said. We often hurt ourselves more than others can. Sself belief is the downfall of many including myself. Allowing others words to effect us. The pain stays with us for a long period. It seems we can forgive others before we forgive ourselves. You are an inspiration to many

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