Advocating For My Aware Child

October 11, 2018

Helen Joy Butler - Aware Child quote 3

Quite some years ago – five in fact – our now Mr 12 was in Year 2. He’d been through a rough trot with illness – glandular fever followed by continual tonsillitis, and an operation to eventually remove his tonsils and adenoids. Now that run was over and he was back to robust health, he was a typical, active seven year old, doing all the things little boys at that age do. He was having fun and was healthy and that meant the world to us.

But then things went pear-shaped, as they tend to do in many of our lives.

In reality, the impact of this event didn’t hit him as hard as it did me, his Aware Mother.

And at the time I probably didn’t realise the impact it would have on me or my message, but now I fully get it.

Let me explain why.

Our now Mr 12 has always been a cuddly boy. He’s one of those children cuddly Mums love – because there’s a never ending supply of them, even to this day! This is the Aware Child in him – the one that in previous years would have been called ‘sensitive’ in a not-so-loving way.

When Mr 12 was known as Mr 7 he used to attend After School and Vacation Care from time to time. He loved it. The After School Care teachers were lovely, many of his friends from class went, and they did things I didn’t have time to do (or let’s be honest, didn’t want to do!).

One day at After School Care something went down. I don’t think it impacted our Aware Child too heavily because he didn’t mention anything to me about it. But it didn’t take too long for it to impact me on a bigger scale than I ever could have imagined.

You see, the day after the event at After School Care, the mother of another child in our son’s class – who had been involved in the incident at After School Care – had gone up to school and spoken to the classroom teacher about it. As I’ve already said, I can’t even remember what the incident was, but what I do know is that it had been dealt with, and resolved, at After School Care. One would think that was that, right?

Not in this case.

The afternoon the parent had complained to the classroom teacher about the incident, our Aware Child came home a complete wreck. He had been disciplined by the teacher not long after the parent’s complaint and his day had gone downhill rapidly. Our Aware Child was excluded from groups, treated badly, and came home feeling like he’d been put through the wringer.

Needless to say I could tell as soon as I collected him from school that everything was not OK. After sharing what he was able to amongst his tears and overwhelm, I knew I had to speak with the teacher.

I feel as though I need to defend myself a little before I share the rest of this story. When we hear of people needing to “speak to the teacher” we often think of people with too much time on their hands and no good way to channel their anger, upset, or energy. But you see, I was that teacher. For ten years. I had stood in her shoes, listening to parents complain to me – and more difficult on a heart and self-worth level, complain about me. I was not going to tear strips off this teacher – I just wanted to be heard, given the incident had occurred at After School Care and had already been dealt with.

So the next morning after drop off, I waited patiently outside the classroom and when the teacher arrived I asked her if we could speak about what had happened.

And that’s what we did.

We spoke about it.

There was no yelling or arguing or nasty words shared.

But there were words shared that have stayed with me to this day.

You see, I had been trying to explain our Aware Child to the teacher, how he felt about the incident, how he came home the day before a complete wreck. I had tried to explain to her how he felt things much more deeply than other children, was aware of the emotions and energy swirling around the classroom, and how he took those emotions in without having any idea he was doing it let alone how to deal with them. He was only seven after all.

And then she took a deep breathe and said

“I’ve never taught a child like yours before.”

Now those words could be seen as a positive. As in “Your child is so intelligent / gifted / clever – I’ve never taught someone like him before.”

But I knew in my heart, after the discussion we had had, that this wasn’t the intention.

It was as though the teacher saw our Aware Child as flawed. Broken. Damaged.

And more heartbreakingly, being a boy, there was that unspoken opinion that he shouldn’t be so emotional; that to “man up” was the only way forward.

I was devastated.

I was in tears.

I was shaking.

I felt as though I had been slapped energetically.

And given my own ten years as a Primary School Teacher, I knew full well she had taught children like our son. It’s just that she hadn’t been faced with a parent who was willing to advocate for her Aware Child in the way I was.

I left that classroom shaking. I left that classroom hoping to goodness our son would have a good day. I left that classroom feeling less than myself – because I was that Aware Child, with no-one willing to advocate for me when I was in those little Year 2 shoes.

The more I delve into this concept of the Aware Child and helping them live a life of Sanctuary as who they are, the more my inner child is stomping her own feet in anger.

This treatment of any Aware Soul is not OK.

We all have a right to live a good life. A Sanctuary-filled life. In whatever way feels right for us.

We should not be judged for who we are at our core, and we certainly shouldn’t be judging Aware Children simply because they don’t “fit the box” that some adult wants to put them in.

Next week I will be sharing with you what I actually believe an Aware Child is.

With much love,

Helen xx

PS There are a few other articles in this Aware Child series. If you’d like to continue this journey with me please join the Sanctuary Inner Circle – it’s free!

Are You Sensitive? Or Just More Aware?

When Synchronicities Gently Guide You Down A Different Path – A New Sanctuary Message To Share

Why, As Adults, We MUST Help Our Children On Their Sanctuary Journey

Helen Joy Butler - Sanctuary Creator and Elemental Space Clearing® practitioner

 

 

2 comments

  • Trina

    This really resonated with me, I so hear what you are saying, I have an aware child, I don’t understand why people have to put children and adults into boxes or have to fit a mould, isn’t it more important they are happy and content.

    • Helen Joy Butler

      Hi Trina, I absolutley agree that it’s more important that everyone is happy and content. There’s something about our society that has a problem with that though – even though we all seem to want to achieve it. Your aware child is so lucky to have you. <3

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